I was only a ”party drinker” until 2008. At this time I was 45 years old. But I have often had the tendency to drink too much. I often became too drunk, but I only drank on ”special occasions”, when it was a party, weekend or something like that. I never even drank a light beer during the week. But the alcohol had a strong hold on me. The drinking was the reward, to have fun, getting relaxed and to get away from everyday life and also from my constant thinking about everything…..
I became calm and I could only focus on ”here and now”. It was relaxation from everyday life and actually ”escape from reality” A weekend without drinking was a kind of a waste to me. If I had been sober for a weekend, it was like ”I hadn´t done anything” ……. The weekend had somehow been wasted. That’s how I reasoned.